Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
