I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
