dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i love accidental penises.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
