I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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