I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
