Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Someone shit on the floor
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
