is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
