Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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