I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
