And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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