Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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