i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
