as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize