I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
