Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
