last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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