So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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