The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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