Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Randomize
