In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
What drink are we having for lunch?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
