Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
