he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
