How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
