Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
