I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
