i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
