And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
