Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Randomize
