So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
