i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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