That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
