I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
