I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
