i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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