pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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