i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
