i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Randomize
