I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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