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i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
