awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
