Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
