..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
