I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
