You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
