it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
