that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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