I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Randomize
