yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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