Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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