i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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