But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
you guys were way drunker than both of me
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
