Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize