Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
